Hollay
08-03-2005, 02:55 PM
And I'm back with another thrilling installation of Write to Win.
Vote for your favorite submission and you could win HP gear - it's that easy and, yes, I am that cool.
The player whose article gets the most votes wins a tournament ticket, so choose wisely grasshoppers!
Submission #1:
I like to talk when I am playing at a live table. Online, it gets more difficult because you can't see who you are talking too. I would feel bad if I was ribbing an old lady who's just spending some of her bingo money on cards. In person, though, it gets great. One of my favorite tricks is to wish for a card right when the dealer deals it out. Whether you need it or not, doesn't matter. If it hits, the player has no idea. Then you check and let him bet and then raise him while telling him that his girlfriend needs to teach him how to read players better.
Then when someone is contemplating for awhile playing with their chips, I'll start saying "fold, fold, he's gonna fold, every time he plays with his chips he folds" or "time, I'm calling clock". This usually rattles 'em pretty good.
One last thing to do when you place a big bet and someone else is thinking of calling. Lift your glasses and look at him and repeat "Do it, Do it" in the accent of Ben Stiller on Starsky and Hutch.
Of course, only do this in games where the other players aren't strapped!
-Imagonnafold
Submission #2:
First, I generally dislike smack talk and usually refrain from it (see my post in the Weekly Poll for more), but a connoisseur is one who appreciates the finer points of the subject, be it food, wine or anything else. So the question to me is: are there finer points to smack talk? And my answer is yes - the finest smack talk is smack talk that shuts up other smack talkers, and I am definitely a connoisseur of that.
Working every day in a profession built on talking and arguing (yes I am a lawyer) gives me some experience in using language to manipulate the thinking of others. It also helps that I have a degree in linguistic philosophy. Everyone I know avoids a serious argument with me, but enjoys a friendly argument because of my quick wit, generally pleasant nature, and good turn of a phrase. I use the same skills once I've decided to confront a "smack" talker (ST) at the tables.
Of course, anyone can truly infuriate the smack talkers by simply ignoring them - but for those of us with the skills, a little smart smack back can go along way!
First, one may disarm the ST with some indirect humor: "I'm sorry, what was the name of your championship poker book again?"
If that doesn’t work, a remark specifying the limited value of their own play usually does - or at least starts them on a less offensive defense of themselves: "Yup, him calling with a 10-4 suited was almost as bonehead as when you raised with your 8-9 OS."
And finally, you can push any smack talker to near meltdown by pretending to join them in the talk and then turn it on them fast; "yeah, what an idiot, reminds me of the ball-less idiots I played with the last time I was in __(insert the talker's home state/town or other info gleaned from nickname or table listing), I'll tell you no one from there should even be allowed to play poker."
I'll save my last tricks for future encounters. In sum, though I dislike smack talk in general, sometimes you do have to fight fire with fire. Then I like to think: yes, I am a connoisseur of this stuff.
But like any true connoisseur, I like my smack talk in very small choice bits, that have an artistic, gourmet flair, and I disdain the cheap, mean stuff.
~ Skallagrim45
Vote for your favorite submission and you could win HP gear - it's that easy and, yes, I am that cool.
The player whose article gets the most votes wins a tournament ticket, so choose wisely grasshoppers!
Submission #1:
I like to talk when I am playing at a live table. Online, it gets more difficult because you can't see who you are talking too. I would feel bad if I was ribbing an old lady who's just spending some of her bingo money on cards. In person, though, it gets great. One of my favorite tricks is to wish for a card right when the dealer deals it out. Whether you need it or not, doesn't matter. If it hits, the player has no idea. Then you check and let him bet and then raise him while telling him that his girlfriend needs to teach him how to read players better.
Then when someone is contemplating for awhile playing with their chips, I'll start saying "fold, fold, he's gonna fold, every time he plays with his chips he folds" or "time, I'm calling clock". This usually rattles 'em pretty good.
One last thing to do when you place a big bet and someone else is thinking of calling. Lift your glasses and look at him and repeat "Do it, Do it" in the accent of Ben Stiller on Starsky and Hutch.
Of course, only do this in games where the other players aren't strapped!
-Imagonnafold
Submission #2:
First, I generally dislike smack talk and usually refrain from it (see my post in the Weekly Poll for more), but a connoisseur is one who appreciates the finer points of the subject, be it food, wine or anything else. So the question to me is: are there finer points to smack talk? And my answer is yes - the finest smack talk is smack talk that shuts up other smack talkers, and I am definitely a connoisseur of that.
Working every day in a profession built on talking and arguing (yes I am a lawyer) gives me some experience in using language to manipulate the thinking of others. It also helps that I have a degree in linguistic philosophy. Everyone I know avoids a serious argument with me, but enjoys a friendly argument because of my quick wit, generally pleasant nature, and good turn of a phrase. I use the same skills once I've decided to confront a "smack" talker (ST) at the tables.
Of course, anyone can truly infuriate the smack talkers by simply ignoring them - but for those of us with the skills, a little smart smack back can go along way!
First, one may disarm the ST with some indirect humor: "I'm sorry, what was the name of your championship poker book again?"
If that doesn’t work, a remark specifying the limited value of their own play usually does - or at least starts them on a less offensive defense of themselves: "Yup, him calling with a 10-4 suited was almost as bonehead as when you raised with your 8-9 OS."
And finally, you can push any smack talker to near meltdown by pretending to join them in the talk and then turn it on them fast; "yeah, what an idiot, reminds me of the ball-less idiots I played with the last time I was in __(insert the talker's home state/town or other info gleaned from nickname or table listing), I'll tell you no one from there should even be allowed to play poker."
I'll save my last tricks for future encounters. In sum, though I dislike smack talk in general, sometimes you do have to fight fire with fire. Then I like to think: yes, I am a connoisseur of this stuff.
But like any true connoisseur, I like my smack talk in very small choice bits, that have an artistic, gourmet flair, and I disdain the cheap, mean stuff.
~ Skallagrim45