Julie
08-05-2005, 02:53 PM
Anyone who’s ever played poker knows that the poker table does not exactly generate the same sort of propriety as a garden party. There’s bound to be some less than congenial banter and for the most part it can add a fun dimension to the game. But sometimes, there’s one person that takes it too far.
When these people cross the line, most amicable players are thankful that they can simply leave the table or log-out– but what about when it’s not that simple? What about when one cannot escape the onslaught of smack-talk with a mere flick or click? What about when the barrage of slighting insinuations about your bad calls or your bad hair isn’t that easily ignored? What about when the jokes about your girlfriend, your boyfriend, your best-friend and yo’ momma are actually coming from…YO’ MOMMA?
Yes, friends – nothing is implausible, especially in Hollywood Hills. One unfortunate player learned this the hard way…
Charm319 was regular player at HollywoodPoker.com, and she prided herself in being able to dish out a healthy dose of smack-talk at the tables. Still, she kept her smack in check – she was there to play, not talk trash.
One day, while playing ‘Lucky Dollar’ – her favorite economically friendly HP tournament - Charm319 was seated at a table that would change her life forever.
It started when she tried to exchange a few niceties with her fellow players.
Charm 319: hi everyone! gl!
x_SuperMario: you too!
DantesDeck: back at ya.
Charm319 smiled to herself; it seemed like a friendly bunch. This was going to be a good game. Then suddenly another comment popped up in the chat window.
DottieDanger: you sucka’s gonna need all the luck you can get!
Charm319 felt a hard lump of dread rise in her throat. She hadn’t felt that way since her prom date, Greg, showed up in the same dress as her. DottieDanger – the most notorious smack-talker at HP could intimidate anyone who crossed her path with just one quick witted insult. Rumors had it that she could make even the toughest players crumble like a week old macadamia nut cookie under her barrage of rhetorical bullets.
Straight away, she decided that her best bet was to just stay quiet. No need to provoke. Unfortunately, her table-mate, DantesDeck, was ignorant of DottieDanger’s reputation and tried to start up a pleasant conversation after a few hands.
DantesDeck: hey dottie, come here often?
DottieDanger: sure, but usually i manage to avoid playing with amateurs like you.
DantesDeck: wow, what’s the hostility about?
DottieDanger: this isn’t a dating site, buddy. concentrate on playing and you might win a hand for once.
x_SuperMario: hahahahahaha! this is awesome!
DottieDanger: can it plumber-man. say, didn’t i play you the other night?
x_SuperMario: don’t remember.
DottieDanger: betting with pocket 4’s when the other guy obviously had a flush? yeah, that was you. nice work btw. go back to the fish pond small-fry.
DantesDeck: hey now…
DottieDanger: not that I’m complaining, the betting strategy has rewards – esp. for those of us who like your money.
Charm319 couldn’t take it anymore. She was outraged by DottieDanger’s blistering tongue and her considerable chip-lead had sky-rocketed her confidence. She had to step in.
Charm319: yeah, well…your mother!
DottieDanger: excuse me?
Charm319 summoned all her knowledge gained at the hype of the ‘yo momma’ era. She searched her brain for long forgotten episodes of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. No doubt, she was a force to be reckoned with.
Charm319: you heard me. your mother’s so fat, she has her own area code! your mother’s so fat that when she goes to the beach, the tide comes in!
DottieDanger: charm susan 319! how dare you speak to your mother in that way!
Charm319: M-m-mom….?
DottieDanger: 13 hours of labor for what? a foul mouthed, disrespectful daughter! for shame, charm319, for shame.
Charm319: mom, i’m sorry. i didn’t know. i…i …
DottieDanger: i think it’s time for you to leave. these boys and i were just having a nice conversation and you took it too far.
Charm319: but, i…
DantesDeck: i think she’s right, charm319. maybe you should go.
x_SuperMario: you really shouldn’t talk to your mother that way.
Speechless and stunned senseless, Charm319 left the table, leaving behind her dignity and as it happens, her considerable chip lead.
DottieDanger: she gone?
x_SuperMario: think so.
DottieDanger: haha. sucka.
Well, folks, no one ever said that life was fair. Join us next week for another enthralling installment of Hollywood Hills where:
A. HP Dan collaborates with an HP player make the world’s largest snow cone. Chaos ensues.
B. It’s revealed that HP’s Editor, Hollay, doesn’t know how to read.
C. A concerned player stages an intervention at HP headquarters to try to coax Julie off her diet soda addiction.
When these people cross the line, most amicable players are thankful that they can simply leave the table or log-out– but what about when it’s not that simple? What about when one cannot escape the onslaught of smack-talk with a mere flick or click? What about when the barrage of slighting insinuations about your bad calls or your bad hair isn’t that easily ignored? What about when the jokes about your girlfriend, your boyfriend, your best-friend and yo’ momma are actually coming from…YO’ MOMMA?
Yes, friends – nothing is implausible, especially in Hollywood Hills. One unfortunate player learned this the hard way…
Charm319 was regular player at HollywoodPoker.com, and she prided herself in being able to dish out a healthy dose of smack-talk at the tables. Still, she kept her smack in check – she was there to play, not talk trash.
One day, while playing ‘Lucky Dollar’ – her favorite economically friendly HP tournament - Charm319 was seated at a table that would change her life forever.
It started when she tried to exchange a few niceties with her fellow players.
Charm 319: hi everyone! gl!
x_SuperMario: you too!
DantesDeck: back at ya.
Charm319 smiled to herself; it seemed like a friendly bunch. This was going to be a good game. Then suddenly another comment popped up in the chat window.
DottieDanger: you sucka’s gonna need all the luck you can get!
Charm319 felt a hard lump of dread rise in her throat. She hadn’t felt that way since her prom date, Greg, showed up in the same dress as her. DottieDanger – the most notorious smack-talker at HP could intimidate anyone who crossed her path with just one quick witted insult. Rumors had it that she could make even the toughest players crumble like a week old macadamia nut cookie under her barrage of rhetorical bullets.
Straight away, she decided that her best bet was to just stay quiet. No need to provoke. Unfortunately, her table-mate, DantesDeck, was ignorant of DottieDanger’s reputation and tried to start up a pleasant conversation after a few hands.
DantesDeck: hey dottie, come here often?
DottieDanger: sure, but usually i manage to avoid playing with amateurs like you.
DantesDeck: wow, what’s the hostility about?
DottieDanger: this isn’t a dating site, buddy. concentrate on playing and you might win a hand for once.
x_SuperMario: hahahahahaha! this is awesome!
DottieDanger: can it plumber-man. say, didn’t i play you the other night?
x_SuperMario: don’t remember.
DottieDanger: betting with pocket 4’s when the other guy obviously had a flush? yeah, that was you. nice work btw. go back to the fish pond small-fry.
DantesDeck: hey now…
DottieDanger: not that I’m complaining, the betting strategy has rewards – esp. for those of us who like your money.
Charm319 couldn’t take it anymore. She was outraged by DottieDanger’s blistering tongue and her considerable chip-lead had sky-rocketed her confidence. She had to step in.
Charm319: yeah, well…your mother!
DottieDanger: excuse me?
Charm319 summoned all her knowledge gained at the hype of the ‘yo momma’ era. She searched her brain for long forgotten episodes of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. No doubt, she was a force to be reckoned with.
Charm319: you heard me. your mother’s so fat, she has her own area code! your mother’s so fat that when she goes to the beach, the tide comes in!
DottieDanger: charm susan 319! how dare you speak to your mother in that way!
Charm319: M-m-mom….?
DottieDanger: 13 hours of labor for what? a foul mouthed, disrespectful daughter! for shame, charm319, for shame.
Charm319: mom, i’m sorry. i didn’t know. i…i …
DottieDanger: i think it’s time for you to leave. these boys and i were just having a nice conversation and you took it too far.
Charm319: but, i…
DantesDeck: i think she’s right, charm319. maybe you should go.
x_SuperMario: you really shouldn’t talk to your mother that way.
Speechless and stunned senseless, Charm319 left the table, leaving behind her dignity and as it happens, her considerable chip lead.
DottieDanger: she gone?
x_SuperMario: think so.
DottieDanger: haha. sucka.
Well, folks, no one ever said that life was fair. Join us next week for another enthralling installment of Hollywood Hills where:
A. HP Dan collaborates with an HP player make the world’s largest snow cone. Chaos ensues.
B. It’s revealed that HP’s Editor, Hollay, doesn’t know how to read.
C. A concerned player stages an intervention at HP headquarters to try to coax Julie off her diet soda addiction.