Julie
08-19-2005, 11:54 AM
Hollywood Hills
It’s summer time and the living's easy. The birds are chirping, the brooks babbling, school children are running rampant, and at Hollywood Poker headquarters, love is in the air. At least HP’s Editor, Hollay, thinks it should be – and what Hollay wants, Hollay gets. Or so she thinks…
HP Mike, a confirmed bachelor and typical heartbreaker was the target of Hollay’s misdirected attention. One day, she took it upon herself to sign-up Mike for an online dating service. After all, her second-cousin had found the love of his life through internet dating – and that happened against all probabilities. There are not many women who would share his love for performing interpretive dance while watching Jack Nicholson movies. Hollay was positive her theory was safe. The only wildcard was Mike – but Hollay had her ways of dealing with him.
“I can’t believe you’d put me on a dating site without telling me!” Mike was breathing heavily through his nose and his face was turning a striking shade of red. Hollay was reminded of the look on her father’s face when she came back from her first concert with a shaved head, a piercing and a guy named ‘Donk’.
Needless to say, Mike was a wee-bit more irate than Hollay had imagined.
“Tons of people do it,” Hollay reassured. “You’ll be fine. Besides, you never know who you might meet”.
Three days later, after he’d calmed down and stopped replacing the low-fat milk Hollay used for her coffee with full-fat cream, Mike grew bored – and then uncharacteristically curious about these online dating shenanigans. It couldn’t hurt to check it out, he reasoned. He had, after all, received several e-mails from ladies that couldn’t resist the Mikester. Only natural, of course. Besides, he hadn’t seen what exactly that meddlesome Hollay had posted in his profile.
Studly Poker Enthusiast seeks caring, sensitive young lady
Hey there ladies. My name is Mike and I am everything you are looking for. I am tall, dark and handsome and the perfect yin to your yang. Fabio has nothing on me. I am a true romantic and I still cry at weddings. I like holding hands and watching sunsets and cuddling with kittens and puppies. I am tired of my philandering ways and I am looking to settle down with a nice young lady.
Favorite song: “Hello” by Lionel Richie
Favorite movie: Beaches
Ideal woman: sweet, sensitive, romantic, great sense of humor, love of poker
Perfect date: dinner by candlelight surrounded by soft music, followed by a leisurely walk on the beach at sunset
“The horror…” Mike whispered as he read further on in his profile. Hollay had melded together the stereotypical leading man from every trashy romance novel and chick flick ever created. The other shocking thing was that Mike had received 13,892 replies in a matter of days - and the number continued to grow before Mike’s eyes. Hollay had seemed to strike a chord with every single woman on this dating site.
After the rage subsided, Mike realized that all of these women wanted to meet him. The sheer number of eligible women that wanted to meet him fanned his ego and instantly changed his mind about the whole online dating scene. He pored through profile after profile and each woman seemed better, and hotter, than the last. How could he possibly choose between all of these lovely ladies?
Then, fate stepped in. One particular username jumped out at him and he knew that he must meet the woman who called herself…hotpokergirl.
Oh, the suspense is almost unbearable! What will happen next week? Only you can decide the fate of Mike’s love life! Does Mike:
A) Contact hotpokergirl right away and set up a date?
B) First consult HP Jeff – esteemed HP Developer and relationship guru- for advice.
C) Decide to forgo online dating altogether and instead focus on making Hollay’s life miserable for the subsequent week?
It’s summer time and the living's easy. The birds are chirping, the brooks babbling, school children are running rampant, and at Hollywood Poker headquarters, love is in the air. At least HP’s Editor, Hollay, thinks it should be – and what Hollay wants, Hollay gets. Or so she thinks…
HP Mike, a confirmed bachelor and typical heartbreaker was the target of Hollay’s misdirected attention. One day, she took it upon herself to sign-up Mike for an online dating service. After all, her second-cousin had found the love of his life through internet dating – and that happened against all probabilities. There are not many women who would share his love for performing interpretive dance while watching Jack Nicholson movies. Hollay was positive her theory was safe. The only wildcard was Mike – but Hollay had her ways of dealing with him.
“I can’t believe you’d put me on a dating site without telling me!” Mike was breathing heavily through his nose and his face was turning a striking shade of red. Hollay was reminded of the look on her father’s face when she came back from her first concert with a shaved head, a piercing and a guy named ‘Donk’.
Needless to say, Mike was a wee-bit more irate than Hollay had imagined.
“Tons of people do it,” Hollay reassured. “You’ll be fine. Besides, you never know who you might meet”.
Three days later, after he’d calmed down and stopped replacing the low-fat milk Hollay used for her coffee with full-fat cream, Mike grew bored – and then uncharacteristically curious about these online dating shenanigans. It couldn’t hurt to check it out, he reasoned. He had, after all, received several e-mails from ladies that couldn’t resist the Mikester. Only natural, of course. Besides, he hadn’t seen what exactly that meddlesome Hollay had posted in his profile.
Studly Poker Enthusiast seeks caring, sensitive young lady
Hey there ladies. My name is Mike and I am everything you are looking for. I am tall, dark and handsome and the perfect yin to your yang. Fabio has nothing on me. I am a true romantic and I still cry at weddings. I like holding hands and watching sunsets and cuddling with kittens and puppies. I am tired of my philandering ways and I am looking to settle down with a nice young lady.
Favorite song: “Hello” by Lionel Richie
Favorite movie: Beaches
Ideal woman: sweet, sensitive, romantic, great sense of humor, love of poker
Perfect date: dinner by candlelight surrounded by soft music, followed by a leisurely walk on the beach at sunset
“The horror…” Mike whispered as he read further on in his profile. Hollay had melded together the stereotypical leading man from every trashy romance novel and chick flick ever created. The other shocking thing was that Mike had received 13,892 replies in a matter of days - and the number continued to grow before Mike’s eyes. Hollay had seemed to strike a chord with every single woman on this dating site.
After the rage subsided, Mike realized that all of these women wanted to meet him. The sheer number of eligible women that wanted to meet him fanned his ego and instantly changed his mind about the whole online dating scene. He pored through profile after profile and each woman seemed better, and hotter, than the last. How could he possibly choose between all of these lovely ladies?
Then, fate stepped in. One particular username jumped out at him and he knew that he must meet the woman who called herself…hotpokergirl.
Oh, the suspense is almost unbearable! What will happen next week? Only you can decide the fate of Mike’s love life! Does Mike:
A) Contact hotpokergirl right away and set up a date?
B) First consult HP Jeff – esteemed HP Developer and relationship guru- for advice.
C) Decide to forgo online dating altogether and instead focus on making Hollay’s life miserable for the subsequent week?